Sensationally useful news teamed up with the BBC this April to find out once and for all, are there aliens in space?
The BBC has a long running tradition of shying away from the subject of aliens so we headed straight for the jugular and contacted Director General of the BBC, Tony Hall, to get the inside scoop of what exactly is going on up there and we posed the most pertinent question direct to the man himself, are there aliens in space?
“It really depends on what you mean when you use the word aliens” Tony replied, “If you are talking about immigrants who do not have a valid passport or permit then I’m afraid that no, they have not yet figured out a way to get into space yet. We have been trying for decades to find ways to lure them out there but we have yet to have any real success”
We hinted to Tony that we were not talking about immigrants and after we agreed to edit out his first quote, Tony continued;
“It has been long suspected that Alien visitors have been colluding with members of our government since way back in the 50′s. The BBC has made a concerted effort to steer people away from this kind of thinking because it gives them too much power and you don’t want to have that kind of situation where you have a well informed and adequately educated society. They start doing crazy stuff like getting rid of the higher ruling classes and the super rich elites so that everyone has an equal standard of living.. we cant have that, who will serve me my coffee from Starbucks?”
Intrigued with his responses so far we wanted to know more about Tony Hall’s personal stance on the whole subject. He replied with the following thought provoking response ;
“Ive no doubt in my mind that there are Aliens. Its just a case really of not letting the “great unwashed” get wind of it. If they figure out now that the place is crawling with extraterrestrial lifeforms then imagine if they started asking more questions? Like.. Why are we always at war, Why do we have bankers, Why does humanity seem to be progressing ever more quickly towards economic slavery in a system designed by Ultra Rich bankers? Those are questions that you just cant have the average Joe asking, for heavens sake I would loose my houses, my cars, my five yachts, my everything if the peasants ever caught on that we’ve been swindling them with lies and deceit this whole time!”
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This is an informative satirical piece. Although it contains many elements of bullshit (such as quotes of famous persons and so on) it also has many elements of truth (such as what those people would say if they spoke the truth) and we will leave it up to you the reader to separate the wheat from the bullshit, per se.
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Tony Hall Talking About Aliens
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We asked Director General of the BBC Are there aliens in space?
Tony Hall worrying about the ramifications of alien disclosure
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Tony Hall thinking about his yachts
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